Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize