So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
