everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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