I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
