Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
tell me about the fingering
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
