Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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