need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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