Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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