i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
