Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize