she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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