I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
