she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Im part way to drunk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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