I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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