TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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