Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
