were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize