OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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