I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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