Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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