and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
