i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Blow job season was short but glorious.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
