How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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