so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
