We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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