***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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