One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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