So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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