Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
