can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So vagazzling was a success
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