I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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