We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
