If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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