SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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