i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
