I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
