This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
