oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
