Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just found puke in my bra..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Alive.
So much puke
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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