oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize