if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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