i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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