I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
