Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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