Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
