And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize