I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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