When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
