I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize