Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
