So drunk its hurt
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
