Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
