Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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