You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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