ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize