You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
