3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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