Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
