We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
