Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize