garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
