Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
