He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
