You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize