sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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