In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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