I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
