Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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