OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
