I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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