so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
