There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
